9 Reasons Why Having Sex In Space Would Be Gross
“Vaginal wetness could be an issue.”
1. Getting a boner in microgravity is hard.
Gravity helps our blood flow to the lower parts of our body, so in space, blood rises to your head and chest, Anderson University physicist and astronomer John Millis, Ph.D., told BuzzFeed over email.
You can thank gravity for that stiffy. In microgravity, it would be difficult for enough blood to flow to the penis during an erection, he explains. I bet Sir Isaac Newton never thought of that.
“Male arousal would be more challenging in space, though it could still technically be possible,” said Millis. Unfortunately, NASA has not admitted to studying this touchy subject, he said. Until we get some empirical evidence on space boners, this will remain one of life’s greatest mysteries.
2. It won’t be easy to get a lady boner either.
Women have the same exact problem. When they’re aroused blood rushes to their genitals, causing the clitoris to swell and lubrication to secrete. Not so much in microgravity, says Millis.
We don’t really know much about female arousal in space, since no one has admitted to studying this officially. “NASA could be easily monitoring this while the astronauts slept,” according to Raymond J. Noonan, Ph.D., in a report published by the The Kinsey Institute. Freaky.
3. Vaginal wetness could be an issue.
“Vaginal wetness could be an issue as the fluid – like sweat and tears – will tend to pool at the location of secretion in the absence of gravity. This wouldn’t inhibit arousal necessarily, but I imagine it would be uncomfortable/unpleasant,” Millis said.
4. You’ll have a lower libido.
Testosterone increases your sex drive. But for some reason, male testosterone levels have been seen to fall during their time in space, says Millis.
NASA is unsure why this occurs. But the astronauts’ testosterone levels did return to normal once they came back to Earth, writes Noonan.
5. There’s no porno for American astronauts.
Although the Russians on the Mir space station allegedly had access to porno in space, said Noonan. Of course.
6. Sex will be tedious and tiring.
In microgravity, our heart doesn’t have to pump blood so vigorously to the rest of our body, so it shrinks over time, said Millis. Our muscles become weaker (especially our legs) since we don’t use them as much to combat gravity. So our body becomes “lazier,” said Noonan.
This is a problem when you have sex, because your heart rate rapidly increases and you breathe more heavily. If you’re not used to this, your body will become tired very quickly, explains Noonan.
7. You might conceive a deformed alien baby.
Getting pregnant in space would be an interesting (albeit unethical) experiment, because we have no idea if it’s even possible.
According to Millis, weightlessness could cause a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. And the high levels of radiation in space could cause cell deformation and mutation in the fetus.
It’s likely that the bone structure of the fetus would not form correctly in microgravity, says Millis.
“If sex were successful, it is virtually certain that any resulting fetus would not survive the pregnancy,” he said.
8. Your sweat will be gross.
Sex is naturally hot and sweaty, especially as two bodies press against each other.
In microgravity, sweat doesn’t drip down your body. Instead it clings to your skin and forms pools, Millis said. If you were engaging in some heavy, vigorous sex, then blobs of liquid would be flying all over the place.
“That seems decidedly un-romantic,” he said.
9. Sex will be soooo awkward.
“Every push or thrust will propel the astronaut in the opposite direction. Imagine a pair of ice skaters standing on fresh ice. If they were to push their hands against one another, they would each shoot backwards away from each other,” said Millis.
“Astronauts would have to be properly anchored, not only to the space station itself, but also to each other. This makes the mechanics of the sex act difficult and probably somewhat awkward,” he said.