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Democratic National Convention speaker Sandra Fluke inspires the Ace of Spades

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http://twitter.com/#!/AceofSpadesHQ/status/241296463836114944

The DNC released its star-studded lily-white line-up for next week’s convention, and boy, are we excited! But perhaps no one’s more excited than the Ace of Spades. The inclusion of professional Julia Sandra Fluke in particular has inspired him, so much so that he changed his Twitter avatar and bio to reflect his esteem for her:

That was only the beginning; he also embarked on an epic series of tweets:

Like, wow. Let me get out a pad and write down everything she says. She's a Law School Graduate.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

Right, I don't know if she graduated or not, she could still have the title "Student." Let me sharpen three extra pencils for this.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

A student's going to tell me some shit? F*** me, could you give me a head's up? I need a block of six hours to collect up all this learnin'.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

I don't know about you, but when someone with 36 credits towards a degree starts talkin', I start listenin'.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!!! A Student is here to instruct us.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

"Don't worry about the fire damage to your home, ma'am. We're sending… a Student."

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

Whenever I see the Student Driver sign on a car, I slide in right behind it, to take notes. To learn.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

"We've got Top Men working on it." "Who?" "Top. Men." "But WHO?" "A couple of Students." "Oh why didn't you say so in the first place?"

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

Harken, all who can hear; Open your eyes, those that would see the truth. A Student is come.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

So if I have this right, and I think I do, each network is going to send a few people to record the philosophical pronouncements of a 3L?

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

So if I have this right, and I think I do, each network is going to send a few people to record the philosophical pronouncements of a 3L?

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

When you are lost, turn to a Student for wisdom in two key areas: Firstly, grand political philosophy. Secondly, what her major is.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

A Student shall lead us to the New Zion. She shall lead us… to the part of the Quad where they don't throw frisbees and you can lay out.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

I'm a Student. Let me tell you about all the wonders I shall learn next semester.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

There is nothing wiser in all the reaches of the great wide world than a Student. Except, I guess, for a Graduate.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

The best part of Apollo 13 was when they kicked out Ed Harris and had a Student run shit right.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

And at that moment you're like, "Oh yeah. OH YEAH! *Now* the boys are coming home. Got a Student with the clipboard, now."

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

Ever the empathizer, Ace then channeled his inner Fluke:

Now accepting offers for my own 7pm Newshow on any network. Oh, who am I kidding, MSNBC. I will be unavailable for work during Spring Break.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

By the way, the media could call me "Free Birth Control Advocate," but they won't, as that implies I have an agenda. So The Student it is.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

See, they're looking for a way to describe me that doesn't include my political leanings (there are no liberals in the liberal cause).

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

Trouble is, I haven't even graduated law school, so they're stuck with Law School Student.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

It's either that or "30 year old you never heard of."

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

Given that Clint Eastwood is speaking at the RNC, my Student Wisdom tells me that the media will rush out to interview ex-wives and xgfs.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

My Unerring Student Senses tell me that suddenly people are going to be talking about Sondra Locke again.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

brb, hangin' posters in my dorm room

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

brb, makin' Ramen in my hot-pot

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

When I have had my Ramen, I will be available to discuss First Principles of a Modern Political Economy with you.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

@jjmdirector that's true, I had Federal Assistance for my hot-pot purchase.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

brb, makin' a Friendship Bracelet for my RA (he's a cool dude! He's from Argentina!!)

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

A friend is going to help compose my remarks for the Democratic National Convention as soon as he's done with his Hacky Jam.

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

brb, makin' a mix tape, thinkin' about First Principles

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

brb, watchin' True Blood, writing my autobiography

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

brb, makin' a tiara like Katniss'

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

Did anyone check? Does my Democratic National Convention speech occur at the same time as Robot Chicken?

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) August 30, 2012

That. Was. Glorious. The man is a national treasure.

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/08/30/democratic-national-convention-speaker-sandra-fluke-inspires-ace-of-spades/



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