If “Friends” Had A Scented Candle Line
Could this aromatherapy BE any better?
1. English Trifle
Fragrance profile: A mix of fresh green peas, aromatic country raspberries, and woodsy sautéed beef.
Great if you like the smell of: Feet
2. Yemen Splendor
Fragrance profile: Undertones of musty perspiration are layered with sharp, ultra-feminine funk. Like imitation White Shoulders.
Great if you like the smell of: Commitment-phobia.
3. Breast Milk
Fragrance profile: Notes of cantaloupe melon and soft powder.
Great if you like the smell of: Juice freshly squeezed from a person.
4. Velvet Java
Fragrance profile: Essence of Columbian coffee, topnotes of blueberry crumble, and a heavy body reminiscent of old velvet fabric.
Great if you like the smell of: The ’90s.
5. Holiday Armadillo
Fragrance profile: A powerful medley of multiple seasonal spices.
Great if you like the smell of: An inter-faith household.
6. Powdered Leather Musk
Fragrance profile: Base musty leather tempered by soft baby powder and fragrant body lotion.
Great if you like the smell of: Desperation.
7. Freshly Mopped Floor
Fragrance profile: A robust blend of bleach, ammonia, Windex, and disinfectant.
Great if you like the smell of: An apartment so clean, it’s creepy.
8. Urban Farm
Fragrance profile: Notes of fresh grass combined with earthy game and male body odor.
Great if you like the smell of: Male camaraderie and/or incompetence.
9. Fragrant Feline
Fragrance profile: Hints of seafood and excrement with an after-note of feline flatulence.
Great if you like the smell of: Smelly cat.
Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/if-friends-had-a-scented-candle-line
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