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Mockfest: Obama’s steamy love letters and his manufactured history of ‘composite girlfriends’


Oh dear. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

Uh hem… 'love letters' describe details of ex-Obama girlfriends:; excerpts of new @DavidMaraniss book

— Richard Lui MSNBC (@RichardLui) May 2, 2012

Feast your eyes on this; beware of the steam emanating off the page!

The letters between McNear and Obama centered around philosophy and literature.

“Remember how I said there’s a certain kind of conservatism which I respect more than bourgeois liberalism — [T.S.] Eliot is of this type,” Obama wrote in one letter to McNear. “Of course, the dichotomy he maintains is reactionary, but it’s due to a deep fatalism, not ignorance. And this fatalism is born out of the relation between fertility and death, which I touched on in my last letter — life feeds on itself. A fatalism I share with the western tradition at times. You seem surprised at Eliot’s irreconcilable ambivalence; don’t you share this ambivalence yourself, Alex?”

Hot? How existential of him! Even his alleged “love letters” are pretentious.

No word yet if the letters were to real women or his usual “composite” girlfriends. President Obama makes stuff up? Who would have thunk it?! It totally happened in band camp. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Obama: 'New York girlfriend' was composite He was manufactured…why are we surprised

— A Young (@ariyoung) May 2, 2012

One of the more mysterious characters from President Obama’s 1995 autobiography Dreams From My Father is the so-called ‘New York girlfriend.’ Obama never referred to her by name, or even by psuedonym, but he describes her appearance, her voice, and her mannerisms in specific detail.

But Obama has now told biographer David Maraniss that the ‘New York girlfriend’ was actually a composite character, based off of multiple girlfriends he had both in New York City and in Chicago.

Also no word on whether the “composite girlfriend” is actually Obama himself.

From that hilarious Vanity Fair piece: "Obama was the central character in his letters…" Shocker. #AmericanNarcissus

— Sonny Bunch (@SonnyBunch) May 2, 2012

Of course, the letters are now being pegged as a “dog whistle” for racists!!!111

Obama's letters to former girlfriends is supposed to stir angry racist segment of population??? Come on. Romney can't win on Klan vote alone

— Jeff Gauvin (@JeffersonObama) May 2, 2012

But the sane see it as a whistle to mock. Because, hilarious. Mock. Mock like the wind!

In Dreams of My Cousin, I reveal I'm a composite of several dorks.

— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) May 2, 2012

When Newt writes his memoirs, will he serve his ill composite wife with a line of credit at Tiffany's?

— Timothy P Carney (@TPCarney) May 2, 2012

My exes cannot be blended into a composite. They are entitled to their individual and unique disdain of me.

— Sam Youngman (@samyoungman) May 2, 2012

Could I form a composite of the GOP field? Take Paul & Hunstman's policies, Bachmann's passion, Romney's fundraising, and Newt's zoo thing?

— Timothy P Carney (@TPCarney) May 2, 2012

In other news, The Composite Girlfriends would make a great band name.

— Felicia Sonmez (@feliciasonmez) May 2, 2012

I'm going to prom at a different school with my composite girlfriend… Morgan Fairchild #thatstheticket

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) May 2, 2012

The Most Interesting Man in the World, from the beer ads, also dates only composite women.

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) May 2, 2012

You never have to remember a #CompositeGirlfriend's name.

— AW (@ArtbyAWOHS) May 2, 2012

What did the composite girlfriends know and when did they know it!

— Andrew Kaczynski (@BuzzFeedAndrew) May 2, 2012

Breaking: Obama admits to another fabrication in his book. He did not eat dog it was a shankopotamus. #composite

— ikidyounot (@ikidyounot) May 2, 2012

Sheesh, someone needs to check the White House expense reports for significant outlays for “real dolls.”

Paging Sandra Fluke!

Who pays for composite girls' contraception?

— Rick Sheridan (@RickSheridan) May 2, 2012

At least “Dreams from my Father” is finally being looked at (thanks to Jim Treacher) after years of just fawning obedience from the press.

Mirages from my president? This isn't the first time questions about "Dreams From My Father" have emerged –

— Matt Lewis (@mattklewis) May 2, 2012

Author reveals Obama love letters – The Hill Letters they can find, but transcripts and FA apps aren't so easy. #tcot

— MikeBates (@MikeBates) May 2, 2012

Had they paid attention to any of it earlier, they would have known the “composite girlfriend” story ages ago.

CORRECTION: … In fact, Obama acknowledged the use of composite characters in the first edition of the book.

— Dylan Byers (@DylanByers) May 2, 2012

As usual, the press just took anything Obama said as gospel without question. It’s in his book? It must be totally true and not manufactured made-up nonsense!

UPDATE: In the reissue of “Dreams from My Father,” Obama writes in the introduction that “some of the characters that appear are composites of people I’ve known.”

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this blog post stated that Obama had acknolwedged using composite characters in the reissue. In fact, Obama acknolwedged the use of composite characters in the first edition of the book.

Seems like this should have been an issue before, say, during the 2008 election? Instead of just swoonily quoting from it and gushing.

Hey, it’s a start. Happy warriors can take up the slack, as usual.

Related: NRO’s Jonah Goldberg schools Washington Post’s Ezra Klein, Left misses point

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