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Stock Images Are Shockingly Inaccurate Compared to Real Life. Huh, LOL.


Stock photos are the basis of the Internet, particularly when it comes to ads, and they’re singularly bizarre. Similar to their moving cousins, the informercial B-roll, stock images are meant to show what life is like–and typically fail miserably. They’re usually too clean, too perfect, and for some reason everyone’s home decor and clothes are white. The stock world is also populated with aggressively smiling, usually white people with perfect hair, skin and teeth. Sounds so realistic!

As a response to these bizarre images, some bloggers with good senses of humor have decided to take back the stock footage and lampoon it. Tumblr blogs like Women Laughing Alone With a Salad point to the absurd traditions of advertising and, on a deeper level, how those repeated images get driven into our subconscious and tell us what what things are “supposed” to look like. 

You’re my best friend, salad!


Another blog, called It’s Like They Know Us and conceived (ha!) by Sara Given of Ohio, centers on motherhood and moms. Once again, the homes and the moms are clad in pure white, eternally smiling and blissfully free of the mess that comes with rearing children. Yeah, we know, a clean, visually-appealing image probably sells more Baby Bjorns than an image of a kid puking all over one, but the images can be chafing for mothers who deal with the daily challenges of kids and babies. 

Given’s idea was simple: she collected a bunch of stock images of these fantasy families in their ever-peaceful worlds and simply added a funny caption. Soon, other parents joined in, submitting photos and captions themselves. Take a look at some of our favorites, and check out the blog for more. Breast pumps ahoy. 

“My child never responds to the nasal aspirator like a panicked feral animal. Deep down in her baby brain she knows that Mommy is trying to help. I enjoy sucking snot out of her face.”

“And then I said, ‘Look, if you don’t carry it in a muted pastel, I’m not interested!”

“Now, what are you wearing?”

“I’m so glad we’re raising our child on the set of the Total Eclipse of the Heart video.”
“Me too, honey.”

“My clients love when I bring the baby to meetings. My severe bun lets them know I mean business.”

“I am getting so much work done. Toddlers are easy.”

“Mom, I’m getting kinda hungry… Hey, um, Mom, you’ve been stirring that empty pot for 2 hours. Is the stove even on?…Mom? Mom? Mom…what happened to Dad?”

“Molly, get away from there! You know we don’t want the baby to have any visual stimuli!”

“Hey Pete, is there any way you can make this next shot look like a low-budget adult film?”
“You got it.”

“My adolescent loves sharing her online life with me. She appreciates that the boundaries I set are for her own good. She would never dream of complaining about what her friends are allowed to do.”

“Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there…”

You know what? If this isn’t real life, I quit! It seems awesome!

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