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What Your Former Windows Screensaver Says About You


  1. 1. Pick your screensaver of years past.

What Your Former Windows Screensaver Says About You

  1. You got:

    The No-Nonsense Pragmatist

    You don’t need frills: All you need is something to save that screen, and damn it, save it you will. You’re to-the-point and prefer function over fussing. Well, either that or you never learned how to change the screensaver. Either way, consider your screen safe from Peeping Toms.

  2. You got:

    The Wanderer

    As Billy Corgan somewhat put it, despite all your rage, you’re not just a rat in a cage. You’re motivated and unrelenting in your pursuits of what you want, kind of like the guy in “Doom,” but less bloodied. “Start” is just one way to go — you know the shortcuts to life and have no problem looking for a way out, even after you hit pixelated dead end after pixelated dead end.

  3. You got:

    The Shapeshifter

    You are a person of many hats, but you don’t feel limited to the circumstances you’ve been dealt. You reinvent yourself whenever you can, making it difficult to pin you down with just one word. You’re fluid and majestic, but prickly when you need to be, like Nightcrawler with Wolverine hands.

  4. You got:

    The Chaos Collector

    When people see your belongings, they might call you messy, but you know where everything is. In fact, you’ve mastered organized chaos. Plus, you never know when you’re going to need that in the future, right? (Not to mention that all those pipes remind you how you’d rather be playing Nintendo right now.) You’re ultra-prepared for everything, like a mad scientist, but for life. Scientists clink their beakers in your honor.

  5. You got:

    The Ambivert

    You don’t really fall into either category of introvert or extrovert: You’re a little bit of both. You like to dream (and feel like you’re hurtling through space), but don’t mind the debris that comes with the territory. You wrestle or dodge whatever comes at your face, even if it’s tiny digital icons. You have a bring-it-on attitude and mental fists of fury.

  6. You got:

    The Calm Carl

    Mmm, serenity. You know when to unwind and only need the simple pleasures to do so. You’d happily throw your phone into the ocean in exchange for some solitude, but sadly you can’t throw a landline away because it’s attached to Earth. That’s OK, though: You seek peace when you need it, and anyone looking for you can eat it because you have bigger digital fish to fry.

  7. You got:

    The Spookster

    You love mystery and the unexplored, and nothing intrigues you more than looking into the windows of people you don’t know’s houses just to get a glimpse of what other life is like. You wish Cookie Crisp would release a Spooky Crisp edition of its cereal, and you may or may not keep going to scary movies even though you jump a mile. You love a full moon for reasons you won’t disclose, and nobody asks about the clumps of fur they find in your car.

  8. You got:

    The Wanderluster

    You put the “can” in toucan. There’s nothing you say “no” to, and you spend hours with your travel agent rifling through brochures for that perfect Sandals getaway. You love the exotic and the lushness of all the things Earth has to offer, from its odd birds to endless greenery. Don’t forget to send a postcard from your excursions because everyone misses you during your brave adventures, even if it’s being onboard with 800 pale people playing shuffleboard.

  9. You got:

    The Escapist

    You often have your heard in the clouds, so you stub your toe a lot, but you don’t mind: Your imagination is worth the risks. You love thinking about how big the universe is. And sometimes when homework or work gets too rough, you let your mind wander about how insignificant all of that bologna is anyway compared to the Big Bang or taking a stroll on the moon. It’s too bad we’ll never be able to explore other planets, but we’ll always have Marvin the Martian.

  10. You got:

    The Circuit Breaker

    You love technology, and you want your screensaver to prove it. You have oodles of Zip drives just sitting at your helm, ready to download anything you could possibly need to make a mix CD using Napster. Your coat of arms has a tiny screwdriver and a circuit board, and you know all of your computer’s deepest, darkest secrets. But that’s OK, because it knows yours.

  11. You got:

    The Dreamer

    All toasters go to heaven, and so will you. You may have made it on the naughty list a few years back, but that’s just the price one has to pay for seeking glory. You can agree nothing is better than fresh bread with a nice pat of butter. You don’t know what gluten is but love cramming it into your mouth, even if it makes you a little ill and bloated. Carry on, space traveler: A world of magic and whimsy awaits you.

    Microsoft / Via


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