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Would You See Any Of These Movies If The Posters Looked Like This?

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American movies often make their way across the globe. Posters and promotional material must be adapted for the countries where the movies play. Usually, while the language on the posters change, the images tend to stay the same.

When the material can’t be imported, some places get creative and do their own marketing. One such place is Ghana, where local artists (with varying levels of training and ability) step in to fill in the promotional gaps. The results are…well, they’re something.

Some of them are just poor renditions of the official posters. Some are so out there, we can’t even begin to understand what they were going for. But these were all approved. And despite spanning nearly 40 years of films, the style is oddly consistent.

1.) Slither, (2006)

Yeah, what can you do when a pensive worm monster stabs you in the brain? Sheesh. At least the dog, along with its eerily human eyes, seems okay with everything.

2.) Enter the Dragon (1973)

Who could forget Bruce Lee’s famous line from this martial arts classic: “Oh no, you di’n’t, girlfraaaand!”

3.) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974 – 2013)

Well, there’s clearly a lot of limb-chopping in whatever movie from the Chainsaw franchise this is supposed to represent. So much so that even the chainsaw-wielding lunatic doesn’t have legs. Oops.

4.) Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985)

This poster is even more ridiculous than the fact that this made-for-TV movie was even created in the first place. Someone explain that bipedal lizard thing in the bottom left, because that is not on the original poster.

5.) The Road Warrior (1981)

I don’t know what movie this is, but it’s not The Road Warrior. None of this happens in The Road Warrior.

6.) Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Does…does the Headless Horseman have breasts?

7.) Hercules (1983)

In which Exasperated Dad Hercules tells Hercules, Jr. to please not play with the mini-hydra.

8.) Mission: Impossible (1996)

Tom? Tom Cruise? Is that you?

9.) Mission: Impossible II (2000)

Tom? What did they do to you, Tom??

10.) Ghost Ship (2002)

In which the boat eats people. Giant people.

11.) Nightmare on Elm Street (1984 – 2010)

This was for the lesser-known Nightmare movie, where a concerned Freddy Krueger lets his friend know that there’s a pickaxe in his face.

12.) The Mummy (1999)

There’s a lot going on here, but I think Imhotep needs a bra.

13.) The Mummy Returns (?) (2001)

I think this is a poster for the sequel to The Mummy, based on the half-man, half-scorpion the artist seemed to be going for. I couldn’t even begin to tell you what’s going on here, though.

14.) The Terminator

The top image of Schwarzenegger is fairly faithful to the official poster, but for some reason, this artist decided to attempt another image on the bottom. The results were not so great.

15.) Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Where is that blue hand coming from? Why is the “o” in “Terminator” a little heart? What happened here?

16.) Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

In which the newest model Terminator, this one rather jowly, attends a funeral.

17.) Conan the Destroyer (1984)

I know Grace Jones is androgynous, but come on.

18.) Planet Terror (2007)

There is so much wrong with this I don’t even know where to begin. That anatomy? The fact that this is not a character in the movie? If only someone had made another version.

19.) Planet Terror (2007)

Oh, okay, that’s so much better.

20.) Hellboy (2004)

That’s not Hellboy. I have no idea who this lounging robot is, but it’s no one in the movie.

21.) Alien (1979)

That is not how you hold a knife. Also, it seems the artist decided to merge the alien and human characters into these purple, oblong-headed terrors.

22.) 300 (2007)

Jeez, Leonidas. You might want to get that lazy eye checked out before you head into battle.

23.) Evil Dead 2 (1987)

This seems like it should be the Army of Darkness poster, but I don’t think it really matters at this point.

24.) The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

You know, the James Bond Movie where Bond teams up with a giant red fish and drives a car that defies physics. Also note that “Me” is a correction, meaning this poster originally read “The Spy Who Love You.”

25.) Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

In this version of the classic vampire tale, Dracula deflates his victims. It seems that when at a loss, the people who made these posters just filled in the empty spaces with explosions and planets. Explosions and planets sell, right?

26.) The Matrix (1999)

In this reality, Laurence Fishburne is a ginger.

27.) Cujo (1983)

Someone put a springer spaniel’s head on a cow’s body, and Mom’s head appears to have a stem.

28.) Catwoman (2004)

I mean, there’s not much you can do to make this movie any worse. But that tongue is really grossing me out.

29.) Bloodsport II: The Next Kumite (1996)

This is why you proofread. Make your own jokes about blood spots and white pants. I’m done.

30.) Your guess is as good as mine.

You mean you’ve never seen the classic The Fierce Ghost Eats Human Region?

There’s a part of me that wants to see the movies these posters are advertising. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see James Bond team up with a giant fish?

Read more: http://viralnova.com/bootleg-movie-posters/



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